Forgive and Forget? No Way!
People do some pretty awful things. Sometimes they don’t seem ‘worthy’ of forgiveness. Or maybe the betrayal is so minor it does not seem important to forgive. The thing is, forgiveness is not about ‘them’ it is for you. Forgiving does not mean making what the other person did OK. It is not necessarily about letting them know you have forgiven them. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the hook so that you can experience more joy and fullness. It is about removing a block in you to the flow of good and love.
I believe it is the Buddhists that say “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. As long as we are holding anger or resentment for something another said or did, we are not free; there is part of us that is imprisoned.
The truth of the matter is that whenever someone says or does something ‘unskilled’ is it because they do not have the awareness to do it differently. A Course in Miracles says that ‘every act is either an expression of love, or a call for love, regardless of how unskilled it may seem’.
If someone is acting unskilled, there is a reason for it. You might be thinking, ‘he acts that way because he is a jerk’. He might be, but if he is a jerk there is a reason he became a jerk. He is not aware of how to act differently. Now, forgiveness does not mean you have to or should hang-out with people you don’t care for. It is simply a shift in perception and it starts with compassion. If we understand that there is a reason that they act or acted a certain way, we don’t even need to know what that reason is to shift our perception. Knowing that there is a reason is enough for us to forgive and in doing so we spit out the potion that is poisoning us. We release the block in us that is blocking love’s presence and our ability to connect with our infinite power.
Forgiveness does not change the past but it changes the present and it transforms the future.
This week I encourage you to think of a grudge or non-forgiveness you are holding on to. Write a letter to that person (it might be you). Let that person know you understand that they were doing the best they could with the awareness they had at the time. You are not making it OK…you simply stating what you now understand. Send it or not….that does not matter. This is for you to release the block and allow your heart to expand.
* Success Coach * Results Expert *
Your Partner in Believing
PS. – There are many Forgiveness Practices. I would love to know yours. Share yours on my Facebook page.
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